1. Dr. Sills is the first to elucidate the change in women's love relationships with men—that they can love them more and need them less. This evolution has been quietly taking place in women's homes as well as in the media. How have you seen this development in mass culture? Has it affected your own relationships?

2. In what ways do you think that the feminist movement has contributed to this new paradigm of love?

3. Dr. Sills illustrates many problems that women have with their mates: the man who refuses to find a job, the boyfriend who can't communicate, or the husband who distances himself from any fatherly or household responsibilities. Which of Dr. Sills's recommendations might you use to improve a troubled relationship?

4. Many times we hide our real selves or make changes in our appearance or habits to please a man. When are changes to please a lover justified and when do women go too far?

5. Have you ever attempted to make over your mate? Did it cause tension? Which of Dr. Sills's strategies could you have used to solve the problem?

6. Dr. Sills says there is a point where compromise is a lowering of standards and acceptance costs integrity. Discuss your own limits. How do you draw the line in determining when tolerance and forgiveness will no longer work?

7. In what way can the principles that Dr. Sills teaches us be applied to other areas of our lives?

8. Dr. Sills says, "Needing him less means having some money of your own. If you have no other way to get it except through him, you need him too much." Is she being radical or realistic?