Author Talk: October 14, 2026
In UNGRATEFUL IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER, the daughter of a mail-order bride unpacks her undocumented childhood in America. In this interview, Katya Suvorova talks about the relationship she has with her family now, the challenges she faced while writing her memoir and the parts that came more easily to her, the advice she would give to her younger self, and what she would like people to take away from reading the book.
Question: What does your relationship with your father, your mother, your half-sisters, your half-brother, and your babushka and dedushka look like today?
Katya Suvorova: My mom and I are estranged. Despite the estrangement, I love her and have a special bond with her forged from what we went through together. With the rest of my family I have fantastic relationships. I talk to most of them every day, and we try to see everyone about once a year. My babushka Valentina, dad and my siblings are the closest people to me, other than my husband. Over the holidays this last year, we met up with most of my extended family on a vacation to Tbilisi, Georgia. We had over a dozen family members come to see us, and I loved every bit of it. It’s still really wild to me that I have them. I didn’t think I was one of those people with a big family, but I am!
Q: What were the most challenging parts of writing your memoir, and why?
KS: To write this memoir, I had to go back into some hard memories. The most difficult ones, surprisingly, were the happy memories I had as a girl with my babushka, Valentina, because we are now separated, and I know most of the happy memories I will ever make with her are in the past.
Writing this memoir also forced me to put myself back in the mindset I had as a young, undocumented girl fearing my family being split apart further than it already was. It is appalling how frequently that scenario is playing out across America since I started writing this memoir in August 2024. When I read stories about children being deported to lands they’ve never known or parents being deported, leaving their children alone in this country, these are the nightmares I woke up from night after night as a child coming to life. I have a visceral connection to the stories in the news about the villainization and targeting of immigrants. While it made the emotional burden of my writing heavy and wearisome, it also fueled me because I see my words as the most powerful and valuable tool. I have to speak up for immigrants, especially children.
Similarly, as someone whose childhood SA was not believed and whose abusers were not brought to justice, it was deeply painful to see the efforts taken to prevent transparency and justice for the victims of Jeffrey Epstein and his clients. It has been surreal to see how flippantly people treat child abuse in this country.
What kept me writing through all this was the thought that I needed this book when I was a child. I needed to know that it could all end up okay, that I was deserving of love and deserving to be believed. I kept thinking that there may be other people in a place like I was who needed to hear that message, and it helped make the experience tolerable. Tessa Hulls talks frequently on her Instagram page about how she’s “in recovery” from writing her memoir, and that’s exactly how I feel now.
Q: What were the parts that came more easily to you to write?
KS: Writing the parts about my babushka, Valentina, were effortless. The memories were easy to access and felt like drinking a glass of cold water on a sweltering day. I love thinking about my babushka, and the memories I have with her are some of the happiest in my life. She’s a really sassy, wonderful woman, and beyond being my grandmother, she’s unbelievably funny to be around. Somehow, despite having a career and family and living a rich life well into her 80s, she never let go of her childlike innocence. My husband told me I wrote her exactly how she really is, and that was the greatest compliment he could have given me.
Q: In a perfect world, have you ever envisioned yourself moving to be with your family with Liam? Why or why not?
KS: I think about it all the time, especially after visits with my reunited family. I grew up with only my mom and sister and occasionally my grandmother as my core family. Since reconnecting with my dad, I have suddenly had to adapt to being part of a much bigger family, and it’s the best thing that could have happened to me. When I was little, I would dream of having a big family some day, and it came true in a way I would never have believed could be possible. My greatest desire now is to live in the same city as my whole family. I want the dinners, the holidays, the birthdays, the works. I want to call my dad when our car is acting up. I want all of it. It seems unlikely given geopolitical realities we live in, but I learned my lesson already about keeping hope alive.
Q: If you could give your younger self advice, what would you tell her?
KS: You are loved. You are important. Your voice only matters when you believe it does, so do not give up and do not give in. Lastly, buy bitcoin in high school when your friend tells you about it instead of making fun of him, and you won’t have to worry about student loans.
Q: What do you want readers to take away from reading UNGRATEFUL IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER?
KS: More than anything, the reason I kept writing this book was the hope that my readers will access their bravery after reading. I believe everyone can be brave. I hope that my readers read my book and feel a fire to protect their communities and their neighbors, no matter where they are from. I hope my readers stand up for what they know is wrong. So many of the harmful situations in my life I wrote about could have been avoided if any one of the adults in my life had stood up to say something. Standing up for what you know in your heart is right is so much easier than people think it is. It makes you feel better. It’s a relief, and it gets easier with practice. We need to be there for each other. This country is worth it, and the people here are worth it.
