1. Throughout the book, Dr. Atlas urges her patients to identify and embrace their childhood wounds. Is there one patient you think was the most successful in accepting their archetype?

2. Which child archetype(s) do you most identify with? Was there a passage or anecdote that made you feel particularly seen?

3. In the introduction, Dr. Atlas says, “Our emotional work is filled with the deep desire to know ourselves and others, and often an even deeper dread of knowing.” Why do you think we fear self-discovery?

4. Zoe, the frightened child, is in a safe, stable relationship but finds herself longing for a relationship from her past, one that was quite volatile. In what way is this internal conflict the result of a childhood spent in distress?

5. The melancholic child, an archetype concerned with abandonment, tries so hard to prevent loss that she inadvertently drives others away. Discuss this predicament.

6. If more people understood the link between childhood experience and adult romantic relationships, do you think dating would be different?

7. The ashamed child is terrified that there is something wrong with them. What tactics does a grown adult like David use to protect himself from this fear?

8. How does the invisible child use their sexuality to feel noticed and desired but not truly known or loved?

9. A guilty child, like Marco, struggles to prioritize his own needs in favor of pleasing others. Are there elements of this archetype that are rewarded in our culture? Do you think that makes it difficult to recognize a pattern?

10. The chosen child often has a very strong connection to a loving and admiring caregiver. How does this bond affect their intimacy with a romantic partner later in life?

11. Before reading COME CLOSER, did you believe your childhood could impact your adult romantic relationships? Do you now believe you had some misconceptions about this association?