1. The author tells her story in basic chronological order except for the opening, which flashes forward. How does this opening scene inform the rest of the book? Would it have had the same effect if it had come later in the book?

2. Talk about the author's use of her own poems in the book and the influence of other poets, especially Millay, on her life.

3. There is an overlay of sadness in this memoir. Discuss its various forms and rhythms in different chapters and sections of the book. Where does sadness drape thickly? Where does it intrude sharply? Does it ever abate?

4. This memoir suggests that geography imprints a person's soul. Talk about this in relation to the author's feelings about the desert and the mountains.

5. Compare and contrast the different mothers in this memoir--their power and their weakness. For instance, Kim is not sold into slavery in Korea only because the family that was willing to buy her demanded her mother's approval.

6. The author's earliest memories center on the ritual that her mother made of meals, however meager those meals were. Discuss the role of food in this book.

7. The author portrays her Fundamentalist father as a study in contrasts. Publicly, he is kind, caring, and devoted to his congregation. Privately, Kim says he is deeply caring too, but harsh and judgmental in his manner. Talk about these contradictions and about the Fundamentalist faith in which the author was steeped as a girl.

8. Fear plays a big role in Kim's life once she is brought to the United States. Talk about the different ways fear had an impact on her life, from the Bosch painting that hung over her bed to her abusive husband.

9. At which points in Kim's life did somebody from outside her family give her hope, and assure Kim that it was her parents, not she, who were crazy? Could her story have been different had there been more such people or had they taken a more active role?

10. When her grandmother comes to live with them, the author's life changes again. Discuss Kim's relationship with her grandmother and what she comes to understand about her grandmother and her mother.

11. What is the role of dreams in this book?

12. The author's daughter, Leigh, has a voice in this memoir. Twice Leigh offers her view of her mother and of the way they've lived. Discuss the author's choice to include this other voice and the perspective it gives.

13. The author chooses a profession that enables her to give a voice to those that have none. Talk about this choice.Why do you think she chose this job?

14. As the author works her way out of depression, she quotes Blake about those who are without hope, and she explores the meaning of suffering. Talk about the journey she takes to get to the point where she recognizes the ten thousand joys in life and not only the ten thousand sorrows.

Courtesy of Random House, Inc.