ReadingGroupGuides.com - Always Change the Date Roundtable

Always Change the Date

In this interview, Linda Friedman of "Always Change the Date" in Monroe Township, NJ, explains the meaning of her group's unique name and the method by which they select books. Linda talks about their demeanor during meetings and how the richness of the literature and the resulting discussions is of the utmost importance to her and her fellow members. She also mentions the special excursion they are planning for the release of the film The Kite Runner.

Q: Does your group have a name and/or a theme? How long has your group been in existence?

A: The name of our group is "Always Change the Date." We had no name and this one developed because we try very hard to schedule a date on which each member can attend. Therefore, we generally set a date and change it if some important, unforeseeable event interferes with a member's attendance. We started meeting in January 2005.

Q: How many members do you have? How many men, how many women? What age are most of your members?

A: We started with six members, and two new members joined us a few months ago. We are all females between 55-66 years old.

Q: How often do you meet? Where do you meet?

A: We meet in a different member's home every six weeks.

Q: Do you eat at your meetings? What do you eat? Who brings the food?

A: We each bring a sandwich or salad for ourselves, and the hostess supplies beverages and a light dessert.

Q: Who leads the discussion? Do you use reading group guides?

A: When they are available, we print out the guides but do not use them verbatim. There is no set leader but sometimes the hostess guides the discussion. We all prepare for the meeting; no one person is responsible for the discussion.

Q: What kind of books do you read?

A: We have read fiction books about women and men in foreign countries; nonfiction memoirs by women; books with historical fiction backgrounds; books on the New York Times bestseller list; books people recommend; books one of us has read and would like to discuss. We are open to just about any type of book that has rich language and interesting, well-developed characters, whether it be fiction or nonfiction.

Q: How do you choose your books?

A: We have lists of books from various sources but often end up choosing a book because someone has heard through a friend that it is very good. We use the computer to look up information on the author and book.

Q: Do you choose one new book at each meeting, or do you choose the books for a number of meetings ahead of time?

A: We choose one new book at each meeting.

Q: What were some of the best discussions or favorite books the group read?

A: We liked The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Glass Castle, The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, My Sister’s Keeper and True North. Most of us liked The History of Love, Middlesex, Snowflower and the Secret Fan and an Amy Tan book whose name escapes me. The group did not particularly like Beach Music or Dinner with Anna Karenina.

We like books that are well written, with rich language and well-developed characters. We like books that show, not tell, the story through characters’ actions and that deepen our understanding of ourselves and our world (although we did not like Beach Music, we found Pat Conroy to be a very interesting person).

Q: How do you keep things fun?

A: We never think about keeping things fun. The purpose of our group is to read books to understand our world and ourselves. We very much enjoy one another's company, although most of us never knew one another before we came together as a book group.

Sometimes we go on special trips together. For example we went on a luncheon river cruise when discussing Beach Music. We are planning on seeing The Kite Runner movie and eating at an Afghan restaurant. The fun part is the discussion and seeing one another.

Q: What advice would you give to other reading groups?

A: A couple of our members are very good at writing down page numbers from the book so we can refer to a passage and discuss or enjoy it. A couple of members have very good recall of the book. These things seem to enhance the discussion. One could use sticky notes to mark passages they wish to discuss.

Q: Is there anything else unique or noteworthy about your group that you would like to share?

A: Everyone in our group is a nice person. No one interrupts, dominates discussions or does "side talking" while other members are discussing the book. We never had to set any rules for our discussions; we all seem to have very good manners. We are conscientious, educated people, and I don't believe in the three years we have been meeting that anyone failed to read the book. Some of us have to travel about an hour to get to our meeting place. No one complains.

Three of us are members of other reading groups but find this one to be more to our liking due to the richness of the discussions. We all communicate through email regarding book club information and sometimes socialize through email.

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