ReadingGroupGuides.com - My American Unhappiness by Dean Bakopoulos

My American Unhappiness
by Dean Bakopoulos

List Price: $13.95
Pages: 288
Format: Paperback
ISBN: 9780547549101
Publisher: Mariner Books

Author of the award-winning debut Please Don’t Come Back from the Moon and the recipient of Guggenheim and NEA fellowships, Dean Bakopoulos is currently a visiting professor of English at Grinnell College.

My American Unhappiness
(with a little Love, Actually thrown in, for good measure)

From Dean:

When I teach fiction writing, I often dust off my DVD of Love, Actually (it resides in the basement with the Christmas decorations) and show it to my students. I do this at a point in the semester when the workshop room has grown tired of the quiet and painfully self-aware characters that dominate student fiction. Like all romantic comedies, Love, Actually adheres perfectly to the three-act filmic structure (which I’ve dubbed Trouble, Big Trouble, and Big Big Trouble), a structure useful for aspiring novelists to learn. But it also features a gaggle of characters that energize a narrative.

Here’s how they do it: Love is a balancing act. Love does not happen without people who are willing to act on impulse; the first kiss, the first roll in the hay, or the first I love you. On top of such impulses, romantic relationships always include good people making colossal mistakes (often because of said impulses). Even the most likable characters get boring when they behave appropriately. At least a dozen times in Love, Actually, I can point to scenes that work because characters are acting upon or resisting an impulse; I can point to an endless list of interesting mistakes that raise the narrative to a multi-pronged fever pitch. Because this is a Hollywood blockbuster, Love, Actually is full of happy endings, but it manages to reach these happy endings by giving us characters that seem way more complicated (because of those impulses and mistakes we witness) than your average blockbuster ensemble film.

My American Unhappiness is about a character, Zeke Pappas, who is so deluded that he can barely function in the world. He does act on impulse, almost obsessively, and he does make a million mistakes in his romantic, professional, and familial relationships. Why? Mostly because he’s fueled by a desire to heal a long-broken heart, which seems increasingly fragile as he moves through his thirties. Everything breaks his heart, again and again—shopping malls, sunsets, summer dresses. And we all know there is no cure for the broken heart, right?

Well, there is one: it’s love, actually. Zeke may never find it. But one senses, I hope, that he’s incapable of giving up the hunt.

—Dean Bakopoulos

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Twitter chat with Dean, June 14, 2011

thebookmaven: In prep for tonight's #FRBookClub w/@DeanBakopoulos, take a look at his character Zeke's @YouTube channel: http://t.co/jXzn6sR
June 14, 2011 @ 20:14

thebookmaven: Evening, all! Welcome to #FRBookClub. We're here with@DeanBakopoulos, author of My American Unhappiness from @hmhbooks. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 20:59

thebookmaven: My American Unhappiness is a novel starring one Zeke Pappas, whose life has gotten a bit, shall we say, complicated...#frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:01

thebookmaven: Dean, thanks for being here. Tell us a little bit about Zeke and where we find him as your book begins. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:02

deanbakopoulos: Zeke is in a spot we've all been in--his life has gotten more complex than he's ever imagined #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:03

deanbakopoulos: But Zeke is a bit delusional. He's refusing to admit that complexity. He's looking for easy answers (sometimes in sex) #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:04

@hidingout2: @deanbakopoulos as person who wears heart on sleeve, after writing the book do you still feel that way? #FRbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:04

deanbakopoulos: I think I've worn my heart on my sleeve a bit too much lately. I'm going for stoicism from here on out. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:05

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos Complicated, and pretty tough, too -- he's caring for his nieces, teetering at work... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:06

thebookmaven: So Dean, my first question for you: Is My American Unhappiness a comic novel? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:07

deanbakopoulos: The external pressures of American life after the Bush years have pretty much focused all their weight at Zeke. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:07

deanbakopoulos: I intended it as a comic novel. I was having a bit of a crack-up myself and needed to spend my workday laughing #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:08

hhharlow: Hi, Dean! Wondering if you in any way set out to write a "chick lit" novel (as well as comic)? Structurally, etc. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:10

deanbakopoulos: I wondered, with this novel, what a character might become if everything bad about the Bush years hit him at once... #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:10

beckyzh: He is complicated, has a great relationship with his nieces and takes good care of his mom #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:10

thebookmaven: @beckyzh Yes, but Zeke is also coming apart at the seams. I thought, is this a sort of male's-eye view of "doing too much?" #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:11

deanbakopoulos: I think that chick lit novels and romantic comedies have wonderful traditional structures. I borrowed from the form. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:11

lulu_bella: @deanbakopoulos My American Unhappiness has definitely made me laugh quite a few times :) #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:11

ShellieHipsky: ...What do you feel the biggest difference between the non-fiction authors and fiction writers' marketing plans should be? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:12

permanentpaper: @thebookmaven I'm fascinated by @deanbakopoulos making his character a YouTube channel! Could you tell us more about that? #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:12

deanbakopoulos: @lulu_bella it's problematic if you don't laugh sometimes...I'm glad you are laughing #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:13

thebookmaven: @permanentpaper Yes, @deanbakopoulos, tell us more about the YouTube channel; we can talk about UNHAPPINESS... ;) #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:14

deanbakopoulos: I wanted these monologues to come to life. They were Zeke's backdrop and I found some great actors to help me take them off-page #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:15

thebookmaven: For those who haven't seen the YouTube channel @permanentpaper mentioned, here it is: http://tinyurl.com/3b9vkd7 #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:16

deanbakopoulos: Exhaustion is a powerful narrative force, actually. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:16

deanbakopoulos: In producing the short films, my wife edited them so they ended just as the character became exhausted. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:16

deanbakopoulos: Someone asked about males "doing too much." Yes, men like Zeke are often quixotic problem solvers who fail to solve problems. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:17

graycf: Dean, do you consider Zeke a bit of a savant? #FRBookClub.#FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:18

deanbakopoulos: @graycf I think Zeke's so wounded he can't process the social cues the rest of us can process. Unless he's at Starbucks... #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:19

deanbakopoulos: Because Starbucks is a controlled environment for Zeke. There are rules of engagement there, structured socializing. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:19

BookingIt: @deanbakopoulos OK, I'm intrigued by that statement. It hasn't come clear quite yet (page 70). #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:20

BHoNeg: How much of the book is drawn from your own life? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:20

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos Ah, a controlled environment...poor Zeke. Isn't that what an office should be? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:21

deanbakopoulos: Well, you'll note that all of Zeke's relationships are "forced" ones: co-workers, baristas, booksellers, neighbors, family. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:22

thebookmaven: So, @deanbakopoulos, why did Zeke decide to focus on what makes people unhappy? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:22

ShellieHipsky: What is Zeke's regular order at Starbucks? :) #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:22

deanbakopoulos: @ShellieHipsky Triple shot roomy americano. He's lactose intolerant. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:23

BookingIt: @deanbakopoulos Isn't that true of most of us, that's where relationships form! #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:24

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos HA! Of COURSE Zeke is lactose intolerant! #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:24

deanbakopoulos: @BHoNeg Too much of the book is from my own life. I hate to admit that. Anything you find funny or endearing is me. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:24

deanbakopoulos: I love the word adrift. And yearning. I don't think you can have a good novel with adrift characters yearning. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:25

deanbakopoulos: @thebookmaven Zeke focuses on other people's unhappiness to avoid the increasingly powerful truth that he's unhappy, adrift #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:25

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos Of course, some of your other characters, like Violet, aren't adrift at all. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:26

lulu_bella: @deanbakopoulos Has the American Unhappiness project moved into reality yet? Do you hear from real people abt their unhappiness? #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:27

ShellieHipsky: @deanbakopoulos @ShellieHipsky Love it! LOL. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:27

deanbakopoulos: No. Often the people Zeke "pities" are actually happy and grounded. This is a problem of contemporary intellectuals. Disdain. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:28

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos Well, Zeke also has some annoying parts, LOL... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:29

BHoNeg: @deanbakopoulos But do you think that people are really, truly happy and grounded? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:29

marisabirns: @deanbakopoulos So Miller High Life, eh. Bud Light is what I've had. And that makes me unhappy. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:29

deanbakopoulos: And 2008 was a bad year for me. Like Zeke. Like most of us. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:29

deanbakopoulos: @thebookmaven Well, I like to think the endearing parts of Zeke are the parts that are me. I've had jobs like Zeke has... #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:29

thebookmaven: #imunhappiestwhen there is no half and half for my coffee... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:30

deanbakopoulos: @lulu_bella I'm starting to get a lot of e-mails about unhappiness. It's a bit exhausting, but also thrillingly voyeuristic. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:30

deanbakopoulos: @thebookmaven Annoying? Yes, Zeke acts on impulse so much, he can be a real jerk. He has no filter or self-awareness. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:31

thebookmaven: Dean, the disdain...is that what Zeke's entire office/project is based on? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:31

deanbakopoulos: @BHoNeg I don't think most people worth knowing are happy all the time. My favorite people are damaged and lack clarity. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:31

deanbakopoulos: On disdain: I think we have trouble articulating our unhappiness and focus on petty annoyances. Those point to larger issues. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:32

nivermoore: ...or when there is NO coffee. #tragedy RT@thebookmaven: #imunhappiestwhen there is no half and half for my coffee... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:32

hhharlow: @deanbakopoulos Please tell me you talk as formally as Zeke sometimes does in real life. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:32

BHoNeg: @deanbakopoulos I think those "happy people" are public liars. Everyone has something that makes them unhappy #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:33

deanbakopoulos: @hhharlow Oh, I certainly do! It's more emotionally evocative to base relationships on elevated rhetoric, Ms. Harlow! #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:33

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos The amazing thing is that Zeke is so acutely aware of others, right down to their nooks and crannies. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:33

hhharlow: @deanbakopoulos I'm charmed. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:34

deanbakopoulos: Regarding coffee and half/half: So much of our unhappiness is based on inadequate beverages. A problem of privilege? #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:34

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos @hhharlow HA! #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:34

hidingout2: @deanbakopoulos we have all had jobs like Zeke, it seems. :) i myself started as a waitress. Don' t most young peeps #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:35

deanbakopoulos: @hhharlow Charmed? Oh. If only you reviewed books for the NY Times! #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:36

deanbakopoulos: @thebookmaven Zeke is mostly aware of strangers' "nooks & crannies." His gift's assessing superficial unhappiness, finding depth #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:36

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos We SHOULD just be satisfied with disease-free water, yet we lust after flavored syrups... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:36

thebookmaven: A slightly more serious topic, Dean: You gave Zeke a brother, cougar -- couldn't be more different! #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:37

deanbakopoulos: @thebookmaven exactly. We're an "if only" culture. We use the phrase "if only" way too much. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:37

graycf: I'm too intimidated to ever go into a Starbucks with you, Dean, err Zeke. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:37

Bellanieve: When I c a problem that can easily b solved/ignored & diminished by idiots! RT @thebookmaven When are YOU #unhappiest? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:38

deanbakopoulos: @ShellieHipsky Zeke trusts way too many people, trusts they'll find him charming and brilliant. Shocked when they don't. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:38

thebookmaven: @graycf Dean/Zeke would know that I wanted to scarf the entire display of milk-choc-covered graham crackers... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:38

KerrySchafer: TRAGIC. RT @thebookmaven: #imunhappiestwhen there is no half and half for my coffee... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:39

deanbakopoulos: @graycf I will read you like a book. A short, formulaic book. ( : #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:39

thebookmaven: Tell the #frbookclub: When are YOU #unhappiest? I'm loving the answers...
June 14, 2011 @ 21:39

deanbakopoulos: His brother's death is a source of buried guilt. He is beginning to believe he actually stands for nothing, it's too much 4 him #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:40

TFCHooligan69: @thebookmaven I am #unhappiest when someone tells me I should stop buying books. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:40

hhharlow: @deanbakopoulos Oh, do people still read that old rag? I hadn't noticed... #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:40

deanbakopoulos: @thebookmaven Yes, Cougar sees a mission and attacks it literally. He goes to war. Zeke could never decide on something so real #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:40

kareby: #frbookclub When my alarm rings at 5:15am! #unhappiest
June 14, 2011 @ 21:40

hidingout2: #frbookclub #unhappiest when i, ironically, think about my 'what ifs'
June 14, 2011 @ 21:41

BHoNeg: @thebookmaven #frbookclub #unhappiest when I realize the world is passing me by and I can't stop the ride
June 14, 2011 @ 21:41

ShellieHipsky: @ShellieHipsky "...trusts they'll find him charming + brilliant. Shocked when they don't." Feel like I know him! #FRBookClub #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:41

BookingIt: @TFCHooligan69 Good answer :-). #unhappiest #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:41

deanbakopoulos: Zeke's generation (also mine) can only articulate unhappiness/disdain, not real desire, authentic want #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:42

deanbakopoulos: Zeke is surrounded by a family with desires they can articulate. Zeke can't articulate an authentic desire nor can his subjects #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:42

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos I'm sort of amazed Zeke is able to actually experience love for his nieces, yet he does. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:43

ShellieHipsky: @TFCHooligan69 Don't do it. Keep buying books. Those who don't and suggest that- are just intimated by your IQ!:) #FRBookClub #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:43

deanbakopoulos: @TFCHooligan69 Never stop buying books. Start buying them right now. By the dozen. I have a suggested title. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:43

BHoNeg: @deanbakopoulos Do you think this is because his generation had been told that they have to be/want/have the best/newest? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:44

bookred: @thebookmaven #unhappiest going through security at airport. Happy when I get to the gate. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:45

deanbakopoulos: Yes, Zeke loves his nieces. They are a joy that doesn't need to be examined to see how it could be better. "If only..." #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:45

trkravtin: @bookred @thebookmaven #unhappiest Flying ANYWHERE is certainly no fun anymore. #FRbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:46

deanbakopoulos: relationships w/kids r-not subject to scrutiny. We wish 4 better spouses, bosses, pals, parents, but love kids unconditionally #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:46

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos The joy of his nieces does galvanize Zeke -- but only in an ineffectual way... (no spoilers, I promise!). #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:46

icylett: On my #istillpayforbooks, without prompt! RT @TFCHooligan69: I am #unhappiest when someone tells me I should stop buying books.#frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:46

deanbakopoulos: Ultimately, Zeke's love 4 the nieces cannot save him. It'd be 2 easy. Kids can't save you. If/when u think they can, ur screwed. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:48

thebookmaven: Dean, did you ever answer @hhharlow's question re "chick lit?" Just wondering... #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:48

deanbakopoulos: @BHoNeg Our generation has been lied too. We believed in dreams, special purposes,mystical callings. Life's way harder than that #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:49

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos Also, let's touch briefly on your chapter titles. Very British Novel of you! #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:49

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos Self-narration, a social disease. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:50

deanbakopoulos: Re: chick lit. Yes, I borrowed from chick lit structure. It's a perfect, traditional quest structure. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:50

deanbakopoulos: It's a self-referential culture. We narrate ourselves. They read like Facebook statuses, which read like British novel chaps #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:50

deanbakopoulos: I also love to watch romantic comedies. They're so well-crafted. Love, Actually may be one of the finest films ever. Seriously. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:51

hhharlow: @deanbakopoulos I LOVE that movie. I believe I own two copies on DVD somehow. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:52

deanbakopoulos: Yet we all self-narrate. Only way to feel as if we're doing something that matters. FB is a way to say "I'm no loser!" #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:52

bookred: @deanbakopoulos So custody is just one more unattainable dream? #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:52

thebookmaven: One of the most ironic things about the novel, to me, was how disconnected Zeke is from his ethnic background. #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:52

deanbakopoulos: @hhharlow I teach that movie in fiction classes. My colleagues think I am nuts. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:53

deanbakopoulos: @bookred custody is the magic bullet for Zeke. The only authentic thing he can think to do in a world of fake emotions #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:53

thebookmaven: @deanbakopoulos "Traditional quest structure" -- and Zeke certainly tilts at a few windmills! #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:53

BHoNeg: @deanbakopoulos And yet FB makes you feel like a loser when not included in events or pictures (esp for teens/tweens) #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:54

deanbakopoulos: Zeke is out of touch with his roots. Again, something authentic that he has no part of...as the kid of immigrants, I relate #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:54

thebookmaven: @hhharlow @deanbakopoulos I love LOVE, ACTUALLY too -- own DVD and a digi-copy. #alanrickmanftw #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:54

deanbakopoulos: I answered that brother question below. But Cougar is focused, clear. Zeke's desires are so congested by TOO MUCH reflection. #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:55

deanbakopoulos: One of the things I hope is clear about Zeke: He panics. The things he says and does as novel goes on are not his "true" self... #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:56

deanbakopoulos: Zeke is so hyper-aware of pop culture, literature, politics, etc. He can't stop talking about it. It's all he understands.#FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 21:58

deanbakopoulos: Also: one last note about "unlikable" narrators. No one is likable when they tell you everything. And Zeke does that.#FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 22:00

thebookmaven: Also, check out www.deanbakopoulos.com for more info about @deanbakopoulos. #noirony #frbookclub
June 14, 2011 @ 22:00

deanbakopoulos: And watch Love, Actually. And cry like a baby. Don't wait for X-mas! #FRBookClub
June 14, 2011 @ 22:01

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