Pamela Cox is a member of “Ladies of Pleasure, Reading” in Harrisonburg, VA. In this interview, Pamela explains how the group developed an efficient method of selecting titles. She also talks about the importance of the group’s “social time” before “getting down to book business” and describes how they address facilitation issues in a way that makes each member feel comfortable.

Q: Does your group have a name and/or a theme? How long has your group been in existence?

A: Our name is "Ladies of Pleasure, Reading" and we've been meeting for eight years.

Q: How many members do you have? How many men, how many women? What age are most of your members?

A: We have 11 members --- all women (see group name), ages 50ish to mid-60's.

Q: How often do you meet? Where do you meet?

A: We meet every four to five weeks --- usually at my house. I'm the founding member.

Q: Do you eat at your meetings? What do you eat? Who brings the food?

A: Food is served about every other meeting, it's always a menu related to the book we've read and is potluck style. We e-mail the week before the meeting, with the member who chose the book also choosing the food theme or menu. People who want to bring a food item then reply to all, and the host knows how to do the logistics. Last month we read a collection of short stories and the theme was "bring short foods." We feasted on short ribs, short-cut cornbread, short-grained rice, short sticks of veggies, short-grated slaw and shortbread cookies! We made short order of it all! As you can tell, we have fun with it.

Q: Who leads the discussion? Do you use reading group guides?

A: The member who chose the book leads the discussion, and there are three or four of us who use the guides.

Q: What kind of books do you read?

A: I'm a hopeless organizer, so I have this info at hand: We’ve read nine nonfiction titles, three short stories, six mystery titles, eight historical fiction titles, five sci-fi titles, 17 family/relationships dramas, 10 chick-lits and two classics. We also have watched four DVDs together and have taken two field trips.

Q: How do you choose your books? Do you choose one new book at each meeting, or do you choose the books for a number of meetings ahead of time?

A: Books are chosen by a different member each month, rotated alphabetically by last name.  We have the right to pass if there isn't a book burning a hole in your pocket, but this has never happened. We've done this for 14 months now and are very satisfied with the variety and quality of the choices.

Prior to using this method, we used to select titles randomly by suggestion and popular vote. It took up a lot of time and the same people were doing all the suggesting. This has given each of us more responsibility and ownership and works great!

Q: What were some of the best discussions or favorite books the group read?

A: Our group "rates" the books and discussions (scale of one --- did not like at all --- to five --- loved it and will tell everyone I know). These books have gotten fives from us: The Sparrow, Children of God, Five Quarters of the Orange, Atonement, The Da Vinci Code, Mountains Beyond Mountains, Middlesex, The Great Gatsby, Sap Rising, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Cottagers, The Glass Castle, The Birth of Venus, Heaven Lake, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan and To Kill a Mockingbird.

Q: How do you keep things fun?

A: We just welcomed four new members who have added a lot of fun! We do have "fun" most of the time, but mainly we are doing this to broaden our interests, read works that we probably would not have chosen for ourselves and find how much we enjoy them, share insights and listen to others share theirs, deepen friendships and gain an understanding of ourselves, each other and the characters in our books (which translates into understanding people we otherwise may never have encountered).

Also, it works really well to have the first 30 minutes of our meetings designated "social time.” Our meetings begin with social time at 6:00, which gives us time to catch up on the latest from each other while fixing our meal, getting our favorite chair, pouring our wine or coffee, or being a little late. Then we get down to book business at 6:30.

Q: What advice would you give to other reading groups?

A: Keep communication going between and during meetings! Twice a year I set aside time during a meeting to go around the room and ask each member "What works for you about our book club?" Then "What doesn't work for you?" Not "what's wrong?" --- just what doesn't work. It opens the discussion to a lot of issues that people are not comfortable bringing up on their own and gets us in touch with our appreciation for the experience of having this group as well. I write these comments down exactly as expressed, then type them up and give a copy to each member next meeting. Anyone at any time can remind the group that we're doing something we said didn't work or congratulate the group that we're doing a good job of what does work!

It’s also important to email reminders of date, time, place and food plans to everyone the week before. It’s also good to send an email after each meeting to say “thank you for contributing to the discussion” and to recap information for the next meeting, including the next book and meeting date info.

Q: Do you have any horror stories, amusing anecdotes, or other special tales to tell?

A: In all these years we have many of all three! We're especially proud that one of our members' son has a novel and collection of short stories published (Marshall Klimasewski) and we have read them with the author "on speed dial” as we discussed his books. Although mortified at the prospect of our rating books, he was actually quite anxious to hear his "score."

Q: Is there anything else unique or noteworthy about your group that you would like to share?

A: This group has spawned a second book group, "In Libra Veritas," a nonfiction reading group that also meets about monthly and has seven of the same members as well as five others. This group has read such books as Blink, Dr. Phil's Life Strategies, several books on the Enneagram of Personality over two years, The World is Flat and the film What the Bleep Do We Know? with the study guide. The group is now working on a global warming discussion group sponsored by the Eco-Alliance.

We have not lost a member since we started. A couple of people took "breaks," but our group is very steady!

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